I spoke to a man today who had two different lives. He was actually quite stressed about it. Life number one was a married business man with children living in a nice area, doing all the middle class things you would expect.
Life number two, which his wife knows absolutely nothing about was his life where he sees a mistress who takes absolute advantage of him. She makes him her personal sissy. He is at her beck and call for the two days a month she spends with him. She takes him shopping for her, then him. But his shopping is more of an experience. She makes him go to ballet shops to buy ladies ballet wear for him. The humiliation and shock value of the shop assistants is mortifying and arousing for him. The mistress gives him a shopping list and waits outside.
She takes him to boots (which is a large department store) to get a make over. They are in public where everyone can see. She takes him to ballet classes afterwards as she wants him to learn a piece for an audience of his peers. She utterly humiliates him, sometimes she’s brings friends as an audience and makes him do a fashion show. She asks him to wear heels to get used to walking in them. They all laugh and just take the piss out of him. She often in the evening makes him get dressed fully in ladies clothes including heels that’s he has practised in that day. She likes fancy restaurant’s, of course she takes him to one, all on him of course!
She has asked him to ring me to get any issues off his chest before he goes to see her. She doesn’t want to listen to any of his bitchy moaning, she not there to support him so to speak. He expressed that he is finding the secret nature of what he does more of an issue. He is becoming more and more guilty about it, the stress of not telling his wife is beginning to really get to him. He’s worried about his children finding out, friends, colleagues etc. The thing that’s stopping him being honest is fear of rejection. I asked him does that outweigh how he feels right now? he said he really wants to be honest but he’s not sure he is ready for the backlash. The only thing I could say was do what you feel is best for you right now. But that you only get one life, is it really worth living it in fear?