Should I start dating?

I’m not unhappy with my life. I’m not unhappy single either. I d say I’m pretty happy.  Iv been single a long time. And I don’t have an issue with that.

I was reading a blog the other day about how other people kinda force friends into dating. My response was fuck them do what you want.

I have a male friend who often says to me when am I gonna start dating again? It’s become like a joke between us. He’s a tinder user.

I went to a ladies night on Saturday. One of my closest friends was there. We got one the subject of my job and men. No surprise there then lol.

In a way only a friend can she told me I’m anti social! That I’m so blinkered to idea of dating I could be cutting my nose off to spite my face. She said I’m letting my past affect me. And I use the fact I have my son as a means of not even trying. Now normally I’d tell her to button it I’m fine as I am. But the day before Id had a similar conversation with my brother. He knows what I do (but not what extent) He thinks it’s isolating. He says I might spend time flirting and having fun, but it’s not real. He thinks I hide behind it. I work from home. I only speak to clients who I’m never going to meet. He says should try online dating. That’s what he’d do if he was single blah blah. I tried it yrs ago, was terrible. I don’t think Iv heard anything positive about it since, not from a single person! Lol

Am I too used to saying screw it I don’t need anyone? Is it a waste? Do I use work in order not to actually take part in the real world? Then there’s work. When do I tell someone what I do? From the off with the fear of questioning their motives? Or wait and run the risk of being labelled a liar? I am slightly eccentric. that’s hard enough to gel with for some guys, never mind my job! lol

I never really think about dating. It’s not something I contemplate or think I need to do. I just think its odd these things all happened in the same wk. Like the universe is telling me its time or something. I’m put off online dating by the repetitiveness off it ie introduction, chit-chat, sex interview (you all know it happens lol) tick box fucking exercising! its soul-destroying. If im honest I just can’t be arsed to try anything else either. Or maybe I’m just being a lazy bitch! should I at least try to look at different options?

I’m stressed just talking about his shit! maybe its just not for me. And other people should shut the fuck up and not pressure me!

29 thoughts on “Should I start dating?

  1. “To be, or not to be, that is the question…” Everyone has an opinion on your life. I remember getting engaged, the first time, and relatives asking when you’re going to get married. You name the day, and then it turns to children! I’m sure someone mentioned divorce at my wedding; obviously a physic!
    I have worked for years with ex-police officers and the one thing I noticed about them was that before retirement, nearly everyone was viewed as a potential criminal. It became an occupational hazard and it changed who they were as a person. They worn X-ray specs to detect crime which eventually stuck to their faces. I could draw, at risk of loosing a reader, a comparison with yourself. Your occupation will slowly change your perception of people. Every job tailors your brain to be efficient in its task. To become efficient at yours, I have to assume as a layman, that strong emotional connections are not conducive to a strong mental state. You are providing a form of ‘social work 😀’ and with that comes some baggage at the end of the day. My Missy is a teacher and often comes home with terrible accounts of kids lives who just want to talk and she need to offload to stay in control.
    Maybe your job taints your vision in both terms of a need to build a long term relationship with a man and not see them as a potential caller?
    Or, maybe I’m out of my depth and have no idea what your life is like and should mind my own business! (I promise I don’t know your brother!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. actually that makes a lot of sense to me. I think my job has made me view the world differently. I managed mental health/homelessness services for yrs. I got very good at switching off. maybe im completely switch off emotionally now


  2. I always listen to the Universe when it gives me clues about where the next steps are about to take me, but I let those steps happen on their own. Fuck online dating… to hell with people butting in… listen to the Universe and yourself. And now… I shall shut up and hope you heard no pressure in my words. Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am not sure how easy it would be to combine your work with a long term relationship with a partner, if that was what you wanted. I have wondered about that before for people who work in the sex industry and I think that many of them end up giving up that type of work as it doesn’t always fit well. That impression comes from what I have seen and read through the media and not from anything else though. In fact reading your blog is probably the closest I have come to having a realistic insight into sex line work.

    When you write you sound as if you enjoy what you do. You take a sense of pride in the service you provide and in the feedback and repeat custom that you have. You have a grounded and matter of fact view of the exchanges that take place but once in a while, one seems to elicit an emotional response in you, which can be negative or positive and you write about that too. To me, that seems normal and healthy and like someone who is in control.

    From what you have said you have chosen this work not out of need but because it is a good fit for you at the moment – practically and emotionally. Likewise you have chosen not to date because currently that is not what you want to do – practically or emotionally. I think that to assume that your work will put you off men or dating is not necessarily accurate. You are not doing it in order to meet men so why would it do that? You aim to meet their needs and kinks and make money from it because you do it well. In a relationship you would be looking for something shared which met both of your needs so I would see the two as being separate.

    People are often good at trying to get you do have what they see as bringing happiness. It makes them feel better as it validates their own lives. I wonder if you are a bit of a threat to others. You and the men who call you are doing something outside of their experience and so it is easier to make it seem less significant or ‘less than’ what they choose, than to accept that lots of people in relationships have needs which are not met by their partner.

    Sorry for the ramble and for the length of my reply, which is just a collection of thoughts and observations so probably not what you were looking for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. well I wont be giving it up that’s for sure. if I did meet someone theyd have to accept it. yeah youre right other people do try to push their version of happiness. I value your opinion that’s why I put on here, to people who get me without judging

      Liked by 2 people

  4. You are your own person. Do what makes you happy. That being said, I met my wife through online dating. And I can’t imagine life without her. I can’t imagine life being any better–and we’ve had some really rough times. But they were bearable because we were together. I also introduced a few single friends to online dating. A couple of them found matches and are now married. So it can work. It can also be awful. When I did it I was blatantly honest. I didn’t want any surprises. I had already been in a shaky marriage. Didn’t want the same.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You wouldn’t walk into a car dealership and announce that you simply MUST buy a car. I don’t know who thinks that’s a path to a good buy. But just about everyone advises the approach for spouse hunting! Being willing to walk away means you can negotiate a better deal in everything. Wait for the relationship you want; buyers remorse is a bitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Everyone has an opinion. Opinions are like assholes. They all stink. Not knowing you personally, I would say fuck everyone who tells you what you should be doing and find new friends. My life would be tremendously improved had I known myself better and ditched all those assholes who told me how to live. Just sayin’. I think, just from reading this blog, you’re incredibly talented, introspective and interesting. IMHO.

    Liked by 1 person

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