Sometimes I’m a listening ear to those who want to just chat. Today a gent rang, who at 38 had just had his first experience with another man. He’d recently become single (from a straight relationship) And according to him had never looked at men in that way before. He had been to a party where he had just hit it off with a gay man. The caller said that it felt right. This was a new feeling for him.
He went on to tell me how kissing another man was really hot (he hadn’t expected it). During this sexual liberation the caller sucked a cock for the first time. Allowing the man to cum in his mouth. He then backed off and got scared when his new-found sexual partner suggested they have penetrative sex. The man was fine with this.
The issue the caller now has is that he is going out in a small group where this man will be. The caller is really nervous of seeing him again. He wants to see him and see if the chemistry is still there. He explained he felt like a teenager again. He was really worried that the man was very experienced and he was unsure about sexual activities. For instance he had never put or had anyone else’s fingers or toys up his arse. Or had anal sex. So how could he have sex with a man? I suggested trying a few things alone to gage how he might feel about it. I also gave him some safe sex advice as he seemed a little unsure/unaware about some issues. I also advised to be honest with the man about his feeling and experience, but not to feel pressured. (I’m sure that he wouldn’t)
Alongside the obvious sexual nervousness. The very real prospect of discovering his sexuality may actually something different from what he thought scared the life out of him. Is he gay or bi? The caller said he still found women attractive, so maybe he is bi. But if that’s the case isn’t that greedy and unfair to whoever he might be with given they might not meet his needs.
I advised him to just take it easy. I also said maybe it would be easier to think about in terms of being attracted to someone’s soul, personality and vibes rather than their sex. This appeared to help. The caller then thanked me and left with the promise of an update on Monday.